Posts Tagged ‘words of wisdom’

JM’s Words of Wisdom… Upated

10 February, 2010



This is why he is my idol and my hero and have been since I was in high school 8 years ago:

“If I have a conversation with a really hot girl that lasts all night and she says, “Wow, I had no idea I was going to like you this much,” that is the equivalent, for me, of getting laid.”

Once again, the words could have just as easily been taken out of my mouth…

Had to throw this one in as well:
[In reference to sex]Yeah. What that explains is that I’m more comfortable in my imagination than I am in actual human discovery. The best days of my life are when I’ve dreamed about a sexual encounter with someone I’ve already been with. When that happens, I cannot lay off myself.

JM’s Words of Wisdom…

2 February, 2010



“Do you want Firefox to remember this password?” No. In fact, I don’t want it remembering anything I make it do.”

Awesome photo…

JM’s Words of Wisdom…

21 January, 2010



Good interview from the Netherlands.

JM’s Words of Wisdom…

28 December, 2009



Life ain’t a fairy tale, it’s a documentary.

JM’s Words of Wisdom

3 December, 2009



For all the times we punish ourselves, very few times have we actually done something wrong.

JM’s Words of Wisdom

2 December, 2009



Fact: 54 percent of all requests for Diet Cokes at restaurants go unheeded.

JM’s Words of Wisdom

2 November, 2009

JM’s Words of Wisdom: 10/13/09

13 October, 2009



You know, parents may ask you “please stay and fix the printer and the cable box,” but what they really mean to ask is “please stay.”

Too true, man, too true…

PS. First post in over a month and a half!

JM’s Words of Wisdom: 9/9/9…

9 September, 2009




Rule of law: if you tell me within two minutes of meeting me that you are “real,” you are in fact not. But neat dress.

It’s Fashion Week in NYC. Where are all the Talbot’s models hanging out?

JM’s Words of Wisdom: 9/8/09

8 September, 2009



I’m a little hung over. Don’t get me wrong, I could still save Nakatomi Plaza if I had to.

JM’s Words of Wisdom: 9/2/09

2 September, 2009



Entering art design phase for the record. Maybe my favorite part. When I’m not recording I’m in full-on Adobe CS4 bliss.

JM’s Words of Wisdom: 8/31/09

31 August, 2009



What makes me a rockstar, you ask? I go out, tie a few on, and then return home to hit the NYT Sunday puzzle. Let’s DO THIS!!!!!

JM’s Words of Wisdom: 8/27/09

27 August, 2009



I like to check iTunes every week to see if I’m featured on a celebrity’s playlist. When I’m not, I spread vicious internet lies about them.

JM’s Words of Wisdom: 8/26/09

26 August, 2009



Sometimes when I see an e-mail in the dead of night I think it’s her and she’s changed her mind. But it’s always my X-Box newsletter.

Also, I have joked about JM stealing my life on more than one occasion, now it is getting annoying… I always rant to people about the joys of microwavable White Castle:

Who says I can’t eat microwavable White Castle burgers?


JM’s Words of Wisdom: 8/25/09

25 August, 2009




I was just thinking, it’s so great to be out of schooling. No more people bullying each other, bringing one another dow- oh, wait.

JM’s Words of Wisdom: 8/24/09

24 August, 2009



Why are some bottled fruit drinks filled so high that they inevitably splash on you when you open them? I need an acceptable miniscus.

It’s not loneliness. It’s called “solitary refinement.”

JM’s Words of Wisdom: 8/21/09

21 August, 2009



Comedy’s moved from making the audience say “that person has upended my understanding of an idea” to “that person mentioned a thing I know!”

JM’s Words of Wisdom: 8/20/09

20 August, 2009



I wonder if someday when I’m married I’ll have sex with my wife and then out of habit check to make sure she didn’t steal my watch. Me: “Well, I should probably get going.” Her: “John, you live here.”

JM’s Words of Wisdom: 8/19/09

19 August, 2009



With as much as I dream, I don’t know why I even look forward to sleeping. It’s basically just more wacky shit for another 7 hours.

Amen…

JM’s Words of Wisdom: 8/18/09

18 August, 2009



I’m so full of myself, every time I read a book I blurt out “wait, can I just tell you my story?”