Posts Tagged ‘chris martin’

This Shit’s Hilarious…

26 August, 2009

Coldplay Quit

Gwyneth Paltrow has been branded the Yoko Oko of Coldplay — because she’s trying to convince her husband Chris Martin to leave the band and go solo, writes ShowbizSpy and Betty Confidential online tonight.

The actress apparently feels her hubby will do better on his own. “Gwyneth has outright told Chris that he should consider going solo,” a source told Betty Confidential. “She is busy doing all of her projects and she wants him to diversify as well. She doesn’t have a problem with Coldplay, but she wants Chris to think about trying a solo album just to see if he likes it. “When Gwyneth mentioned it, Chris was furious. He loves the band and he has no desire to change things right now. Chris basically ignored her and walked away.”

In 2004, Paltrow said, “People ask if I will sing with the band or do a duet, but always in front of my mind is the Yoko effect. I don’t want to be known as the girl who split up Coldplay.”

Who was your source, a seventh grade girl?

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Cool…

6 August, 2009



Beastie Boys member Adam Yaunch has thanked Jay-Z and Coldplay after both acts paid tribute to him at the recent All Points West festival in New jersey, writes Gigwise today.

The band were forced to pull out of the festival last week after Yaunch, better known as MCA, was diagnosed with cancer. Jay-Z, who replaced the Beastie Boys, began his set with a cover of ‘No Sleep ‘Till Brooklyn’, while Coldplay’s Chris Martin sang an acoustic version of ‘Fight For Your Right (To Party)’. “Saw the Jay-Z cover of ‘No Sleep…’, and the Coldplay one of ‘Fight For Your Right’ from APW on YouTube. Good Shit,” Yaunch said.

In a letter to fans, Yaunch also gave an update on his cancer battle, saying he was “rapidly recovering” from surgery to remove a cancerous tumour in his left salivary gland.

Pretty, Pretty Funny, I Guess…

3 August, 2009

Today’s Noelism: 8/3/09

3 August, 2009



Chris Martin is mad as a brush

Greatest Article Ever…

18 June, 2009



About the Coldplay/Satriani lawsuit:

Seeing how he seems like a genuinely humble and all-round decent human being, let’s assume that Chris Martin is as horrified as anyone at the way things have unfolded, writes Vancouver’s straight.com.

Imagine setting out to create something new and boundary-pushing, a reinvention, if you will, of a band that’s easily become the biggest success story of its generation. That’s what the boys of Coldplay did with 2008’s Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends, a record that found them, for the first time, shooting for something higher than ball-less, housewife-friendly alternative pop.

And what happened with that ambitious rebranding project? Well, as every YouTube addict knows, it ended up getting the U.K. quartet sued for plagiarism. To add to the indignity, the plaintiff isn’t a beloved icon (e.g., Neil Young, David Bowie, or Lou Reed) that any self-respecting songwriter would happily cop to ripping off, but instead one of rock ’n’ roll’s most notoriously tasteless musical masturbators.

On the reviled-by-critics front, chrome-domed guitar noodler Joe Satriani ranks right up there with Carrot Top, Uwe Boll, and that French-Canadian skeletor who sang the Titanic song. Chickenfoot fans aside, no one gives a shit about “Satch” in 2009, including the birdhouse- and ashtray-builders who pissed away the ’80s by mastering every note of Surfing With the Alien on air guitar. Despite that, Satriani would have us believe that Coldplay shamelessly ripped off his “If I Could Fly” when it wrote the number-one single “Viva la Vida”.

Going after Coldplay was a brilliant career move. Pre-lawsuit, Satch was a largely forgotten ’80s footnote, primarily known as a perma-wanking penis with ears who never played one note when he could splooge out 20. Taking aim at Martin and company not only proved he wasn’t dead, but also got his name circulating among a new constituency. Suddenly, Satch is a household name in actual houses, as opposed to Whalley Airstreams occupied by people whose idea of formal wear is a T-shirt with a cartoon tuxedo printed on it. The only place where his argument falls down is that no one has listened to Joe Satriani since George Sr. was nailing Barbara’s bush in the White House, making the idea that his genius was somehow ripped off laughable.

Coldplay—which, in addition to Martin, includes those other three guys—was crystal clear about wanting to mix things up on Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends. Hell, they even went ahead and enlisted producer Brian Eno, who, despite being every bit as overrated as Daniel Lanois, has somehow tricked the world into thinking he doesn’t make records as much as works of art.

The problem with Viva la Vida, though, was that it didn’t stray far enough from the blueprint that made Coldplay famous. If you’re going to seriously make a move to reposition yourself as musical mavericks, why not go fucking nuts and make something every bit as deliciously insane as the Beatles’ “I Am the Walrus”? Or at least Christina Aguilera’s “Ain’t No Other Man”?

If you really want to freak out the yuppie normaloids who buy your records, ditch the high-school-marching-band Grammy duds that made you look like an Australian’s nightmare. Start dressing in Sprockets-brand black, and rip off the Refused’s The Shape of Punk to Come.

Martin might just be able to pull off such a radical reinvention because, as noted, he is by all accounts a decent human being. For a start, he’s honest to a fault. If you didn’t get your wick dipped until you were 22, would you admit it in the pages of Rolling Stone, which the singer happily did? He’s doing his best to make the world a little safer for kids with, umm, odd names like Apple, Orange, and Kumquat, which, truthfully, are only marginally less out-there on the weirdo front than Gwyneth. And along with his bandmates, he not only donates 10 percent of everything Coldplay makes to charity, he does so quietly, which is more than you can say for that eyeliner-addicted blowhard from U2.

Unless he can really reinvent himself the next time, what’s his reward for all of this, besides enough Grammy-shaped doorstops to ensure no crapper portal ever blows shut at Chez Martin? At the moment, it’s the reality that his tombstone might end up reading “I ripped off a guy who once released a record titled Professor Satchafunkilus and the Musterion of Rock.” The indignity. Not to mention the horror.

Cheeky Bastard…

5 June, 2009



I have an ego. But it’s being worked on today. I don’t have it. It’s in the shop.

Oh, Chris…

26 May, 2009



Chris Martin is a pretty humble and honest guy. I’d like to think that if I ever got famous he and I would be the people at a Grammy after-party sitting in the corner talking about Echo and The Bunnymen and making fun of other people.

Anyway, he had this to say about Lily Allen:

“Lily Allen is fantastic. She’s one of those people who is so cool that whenever I meet her I feel like I’m back at school and none of the girls like me anymore. She has the ability to make any boy feel like a tosser.”

I can only imagine…

That’s More Like It…

14 May, 2009



Chris Martin recently did an interview in Atlanta:

In a recent telephone interview from Los Angeles, Martin talked about selling out arenas and the thunderstorm in the Abu Dhabi desert that greeted one of Coldplay’s recent outdoor concerts: “I think it was God telling us to shut up.”

There’s the old Chris Martin/Coldplay we’ve all been missing…

Ah, Some Humor…

5 May, 2009



Now that at least three separate artists have publicly accused Coldplay for copyright infringement, even though Coldplay are notorious of giving immense amounts of credit where credit is due, The Huffington Post has finally made something humorous out of it…

I would like to take the opportunity to claim that I wrote Coldplay’s “Viva La Vida.” In fact, I wrote “Viva La Vida” just about an hour ago after hearing the news that my pal Yusuf — the artist formerly known as Cat Stevens — feels that the undeniable Coldplay smash is too close for comfort to one section of his “Foreigner Suite” from his 1973 album “The Foreigner.”

So to be honest here, I’m not exactly sure if I actually stole “Viva La Vida” from Coldplay, from Cat Stevens, from Joe Satriani or from some obscure band called the Creaky Boards who actually called their version of our collective hit “The Songs I Didn’t Write.”

Earlier today Cat Stevens Yusuf Islam said,

My son brought it to my attention and said: ‘Doesn’t that sound like ‘Foreigner Suite?'” the musician, now known as Yusuf Islam, told Reuters. “The song definitely sounds like it,” he said of his song. “It has such logical chords and the melody has to be what it is.

Asked during a telephone interview from London whether he would pursue the issue legally, Islam, 60, said “it depends on how well Satriani does.”

Pages, Continued…

31 March, 2009



Kick ass song/beat….

Coldplay. The Killers, bono, Take That?

20 February, 2009



That image really says it all. Coldplay and the Killers took the stage together at The War Child benefit a day ago and it was cool (video below) and the bono came out and made it official (which I guess means its still cool… i guess…) and then that Barlow dude from Take That came out and made it not as official but still kind of cool.

Will didn’t play the drums and Guy didn’t play bass, and Jonny played acoustic, which is pretty blasphemous, but whatever. The Killers are alright to me. And, apparently, my opinion matters. Or, at least thats what they told me in pre school…

It’s Official, Coldplay Hearts German Rave Metal…

30 January, 2009



From the “Oracle”,

January 28, 2009 – submitted by daniel, Germany
Q. dear Orakel, are their any german bands you or the band know and/or like?
The Oracle replies:
They are friends and fans of Rammstein.

Awesomely cool, or Cooly Awesome…

19 January, 2009



Chris Martin at the NRJ Awards playing Life in Technicolor ii solo. His falsetto< than perfect, but still, this shit is real and live, so I don’t care, its fucking brilliant.

Too bad the video is going to suck balls