Archive for June, 2009

Dude, Did Not See This Coming…

29 June, 2009



I just started watching the show “Pitchmen” and it was growing on me. This was officially the worst weekend for celebrity deaths in a long time…

DRH, BA, FTW…

29 June, 2009

Wow, that was gay… But this surely isn’t…

Dude, He Gets It…

29 June, 2009



I’m not a fan of the one stall/one urinal bathroom with no lock on the door. Troubling in so many ways.

JM had a bunch of good thoughts on music/Michael Jackson/etc. over the weekend, but this is so true it hurts…

You Suck Ahmadinejad, Part II…

26 June, 2009



Also Hilarious…

26 June, 2009

Hilarious…

26 June, 2009



Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher is never one to shy away from starting a ruck. So it’s a surprise to hear that he found himself on the receiving end of a tongue-lashing from none other than Britney Spears.

The pop princess got the hump with the 36-year-old Manc after he threw an all-night party at the Four Seasons hotel in Dublin, the city where both had been performing.

Brit complained that their party was too noisy and Liam was being “inconsiderate”.

Needless to say, he didn’t take much notice. We’re told: “Liam was with members of the Prodigy, along with the Appleton sisters, and decided to have a really boozy session when they got back to the hotel. They started off in the hotel’s Ice Bar and then moved on to the lobby.

As Britney entered the hotel they were being really loud and raucous, which was why she went mad. She started shouting saying that it was ridiculous that they were being so loud and inconsiderate.”

But her rant did little to stop the party — and even led to a typical Liam jibe when hotel staff intervened. Our spy added: “Liam just scoffed at her, and was overheard saying to hotel staff Britney who?’ before continuing to party. This made Britney really mad and her dad Jamie had to step in to try and sort it all out. By this time Britney had stormed off.”

The Womanizer singer, 27, trudged off to her penthouse suite so she could have more privacy. Liam was without the diplomatic influence of older brother Noel. Apparently the pair have been arguing on tour and are staying in separate hotels. A spokesman for Oasis refused to comment today.

I’d say that after Britney’s Shining Moment in Manchester the other week, she deserves it from a Manc…

Today’s Noelism: 6/26/09

26 June, 2009



I don’t know what Rock ‘n Roll is, but we sure like a drink. That’s for sure, and all basis are covered. You know, you might fancy that bit of Peruvian rum, you gotta have one , eh? The only thing not on the rider is skim milk, but I could get that if I wanted…

What a Terrible Day…

25 June, 2009



Nevermind the fact that I woke up this morning feeling like shit, but then I hear that Farrah Fawcett passed away…

The world just got a lot less hotter…

RIP Man…

25 June, 2009

Whaaaaat?

25 June, 2009



Just saw this commercial… is this really necessary?

Fuck Yeah…

24 June, 2009

The White House is steppin’ it up for reals…



The translation for this tweet is “President Obama’s Remarks on Iran at his Press Conference, with Persian Translation [Link]” (via Steve S. / Wayne’s list)

WWTDD, FTW…

23 June, 2009



Chris Brown admitted today that he beat Rihanna on February 8th, punched her in the face repeatedly and choked her, and even though he’s never shown the slightest bit or regret or remorse, prosecutors in Los Angeles agreed to a plea that let’s him walk away without even one day in jail. TMZ says…

“He’ll spend 180 days doing community labor (8 hours a day — 1440 hours total) — which is, in effect, hard labor. He’ll do his service in Virginia which is where Brown lives. A Virginia law enforcement officer told us Brown will be picking up trash, pulling weeds and washing fire trucks.
He gets 5 years probation for FELONY assault — he pled guilty. He’ll get supervised probation. He’ll have to come back to court every three months.
He must enroll in a domestic violence counseling program.
If Brown violates probation, he could get up to 4 years in prison.
Brown is now a convicted felon and loses the the following rights: To own a gun, to sit on a jury, subject to search and seizure without a search warrant and he now has limitations on travel.”

Washing fire trucks? Are they fucking serious? We used to have a neighborhood fire house in my neighborhood and kids would help wash the trucks for fun. It was a special treat. We would wash the trucks and wear the helmets and play with the dog. All they have to do now is make him eat some rice krispy treats, and California’s idea of punishing violent criminals will be the exact same as one of my happiest childhood memories.

Cheeky Bastard…

23 June, 2009



I’m not a huge Elvis Costello fan, the guys all right. But I wouldn’t exactly say he is the top man in songwriting, either. I think, possibly, (this is conjecture) Noel’s got more number 1 hits under his belt than Elvis Costello. I know, in my generation at least, people are 10x more likely to recognize an Oasis song than anything Elvis has done. This is what he said of Noel:


“I think I can do Paul McCartney better than Noel Gallagher can do Paul McCartney, Noel is deluded about a lot of things, most obviously that he is a songwriter at all. That he even brackets himself in the same sentence as Paul is laughable .”

Bastard…

Today’s Noelism: 6/23/09

23 June, 2009



Don’t remember leaving the gig! I feel poisoned. Not looking forward to the flight home AND me and Irie Nancy have got to go to a friend’s 40th tomorrow. More boozing. Shit!!

Hello? Is there anybody out there? Been having technical problems with the lines of communication of late. Sorry for the break in transmission. Normal service is now resumed – and no, you’re not getting your money back!! While I’m on that subject, it seems that around 20,000 of you have asked for a refund from that night at Heaton Park!! 20,000!! So you were genuinely disappointed? I don’t recall seeing a 20,000 gap in the crowd. Cheeky cunts! Tsk ..some people.

Anyway, no such problems in Scotland. Gig at Murrayfield was great. Great crowd, as always. The Enemy and Kasabian were on top form. Didn’t see The Reverend.

Apart from – yet again! – some poor DJ’ing from Romeo the party in the dressing room was a good-un. Didn’t leave ’til the sun came up. Respect to Kasabian. They were still there when I left and they had a gig in Glasgow last night! Fuck that. They must’ve been rough as arseholes.

Daaaaamn…

18 June, 2009



Can we go to the moon again, then? Its pocket change…

Happy Birthday, You Genius Bastard…

18 June, 2009



Paul McCartney is 67 today. Dude doesn’t look older than mid fifties… what a fucking champion…

Hilarious…

18 June, 2009



Watch as Britney Spears gives a shout out to London… while in Manchester…

Greatest Article Ever…

18 June, 2009



About the Coldplay/Satriani lawsuit:

Seeing how he seems like a genuinely humble and all-round decent human being, let’s assume that Chris Martin is as horrified as anyone at the way things have unfolded, writes Vancouver’s straight.com.

Imagine setting out to create something new and boundary-pushing, a reinvention, if you will, of a band that’s easily become the biggest success story of its generation. That’s what the boys of Coldplay did with 2008’s Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends, a record that found them, for the first time, shooting for something higher than ball-less, housewife-friendly alternative pop.

And what happened with that ambitious rebranding project? Well, as every YouTube addict knows, it ended up getting the U.K. quartet sued for plagiarism. To add to the indignity, the plaintiff isn’t a beloved icon (e.g., Neil Young, David Bowie, or Lou Reed) that any self-respecting songwriter would happily cop to ripping off, but instead one of rock ’n’ roll’s most notoriously tasteless musical masturbators.

On the reviled-by-critics front, chrome-domed guitar noodler Joe Satriani ranks right up there with Carrot Top, Uwe Boll, and that French-Canadian skeletor who sang the Titanic song. Chickenfoot fans aside, no one gives a shit about “Satch” in 2009, including the birdhouse- and ashtray-builders who pissed away the ’80s by mastering every note of Surfing With the Alien on air guitar. Despite that, Satriani would have us believe that Coldplay shamelessly ripped off his “If I Could Fly” when it wrote the number-one single “Viva la Vida”.

Going after Coldplay was a brilliant career move. Pre-lawsuit, Satch was a largely forgotten ’80s footnote, primarily known as a perma-wanking penis with ears who never played one note when he could splooge out 20. Taking aim at Martin and company not only proved he wasn’t dead, but also got his name circulating among a new constituency. Suddenly, Satch is a household name in actual houses, as opposed to Whalley Airstreams occupied by people whose idea of formal wear is a T-shirt with a cartoon tuxedo printed on it. The only place where his argument falls down is that no one has listened to Joe Satriani since George Sr. was nailing Barbara’s bush in the White House, making the idea that his genius was somehow ripped off laughable.

Coldplay—which, in addition to Martin, includes those other three guys—was crystal clear about wanting to mix things up on Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends. Hell, they even went ahead and enlisted producer Brian Eno, who, despite being every bit as overrated as Daniel Lanois, has somehow tricked the world into thinking he doesn’t make records as much as works of art.

The problem with Viva la Vida, though, was that it didn’t stray far enough from the blueprint that made Coldplay famous. If you’re going to seriously make a move to reposition yourself as musical mavericks, why not go fucking nuts and make something every bit as deliciously insane as the Beatles’ “I Am the Walrus”? Or at least Christina Aguilera’s “Ain’t No Other Man”?

If you really want to freak out the yuppie normaloids who buy your records, ditch the high-school-marching-band Grammy duds that made you look like an Australian’s nightmare. Start dressing in Sprockets-brand black, and rip off the Refused’s The Shape of Punk to Come.

Martin might just be able to pull off such a radical reinvention because, as noted, he is by all accounts a decent human being. For a start, he’s honest to a fault. If you didn’t get your wick dipped until you were 22, would you admit it in the pages of Rolling Stone, which the singer happily did? He’s doing his best to make the world a little safer for kids with, umm, odd names like Apple, Orange, and Kumquat, which, truthfully, are only marginally less out-there on the weirdo front than Gwyneth. And along with his bandmates, he not only donates 10 percent of everything Coldplay makes to charity, he does so quietly, which is more than you can say for that eyeliner-addicted blowhard from U2.

Unless he can really reinvent himself the next time, what’s his reward for all of this, besides enough Grammy-shaped doorstops to ensure no crapper portal ever blows shut at Chez Martin? At the moment, it’s the reality that his tombstone might end up reading “I ripped off a guy who once released a record titled Professor Satchafunkilus and the Musterion of Rock.” The indignity. Not to mention the horror.

Haha, You Suck Ahmadinejad…

17 June, 2009



They must just be discovering photoshop over there or something…

Al Roker Is Funny…

17 June, 2009



“Heidi and Spencer are young and eventually will realize there is more to life than fame. And by putting them on, we are playing into their evil plot for world domination. For that, I apologize. Mwuh ha ha ha ha.”

Interesting…

16 June, 2009

I used to be a huge punk fan… in 4th grade… but now, not so much. Anyway, here’s the band Punks Not Dad from the UK with a new song. Its a band make up of 40+ dad’s, interesting to say the least…

Pretty, Pretty, Funny…

16 June, 2009



Weird Al gives craigslist a Doors treatment. I’m not a huge Weird Al fan (or Doors fan for that matter), but this is pretty funny and spot on, as usual. The original keyboardist from the Doors actually plays on it, that’s definitely cool…

That’s Not Cool…

15 June, 2009



I’ve got the Crohn’s, its no fun. I also know what it feels like to not know what you have and not know why you’ve been having those embarrassing bowel movements in high school…

When doctors didn’t give a Washington state high school student the answers she wanted, she took matters into her own hands.

Eighteen-year-old Jessica Terry, brought slides of her own intestinal tissue into her AP science class and correctly diagnosed herself with Crohn’s disease.

“It’s weird I had to solve my own medical problem,” Terry told CNN affiliate KOMO. “There were just no answers anywhere … I was always sick.”
For years she went from doctor to doctor complaining of vomiting, diarrhea, weight loss and stomach pains. They said she had irritable bowel syndrome. They said she had colitis.

They said the slides of her intestinal tissue were fine, but she knew that wasn’t right.

“Not knowing much about a disease you’re growing up with is not only nerve-wracking, but it’s confusing,” Terry told the Sammamish Reporter.

So when local pathologists stopped in to teach students in her Biomedical Problems class how to analyze slides…


Full Article Here

Liam’s Gem: 6/15/09

15 June, 2009



Kasabian in bed by 9, is this a smash hits tour or what…EMPIRE, are you fucking sure?

Hilarious…

15 June, 2009



This has got to be one of the funniest pictures ever, classic…